.

After getting deceived times after times, everything finally ended.. Life became so meaningless to me. Seriously cannot trust anybody from now on. Even the person who fucking claims to love you how deep how deep will eventually hurt you 1 day.. She left ! My beloved cousin moved out also. No one there to hear me rant and console me in the middle of the night. I'm all left by myself.

...

IT'S NOTHING BUT ALL LIES !!! KNNBCCB !!! THANKS!

Small squirrel and Big tree

Has been long since i blogged. I felt that i got noone to pour to. It's so not me to feel like this. Never been in this kinda relationship before, thus i really don't know what to do, how to react. Am i being paranoid, overreacting, selfish and pervert ? It's her husband and i'm actually being jealous over him. Asking what i'm not supposed to know saying what i'm not supposed to say. What should i do?

It all started on the 8th Aug 2009. Met her at DF, happened to be my friend's friend. We already knew each other for quite sometime just that we have never met. But still, we met coincidentally by chance by fate. Chatted on the phone almost everyday, meeting up, picking her sending her to work etc and we gradually become very close, like some kind unseen force bonding us together clicking very well. Knowing that she's married we carried on our relationship. Unbelievably we seems to have very similar frequencies. Always calling each other at the same time out of nowhere, or sms sent at the same time looking asking for each other, speaking the same words etc.. I believed it's all fate ! But isn't it alittle too late? Like for 6 whole years? What is exactly the outcome for us? I don't know. I seriously don't know a thing !

Although it's not a long peroid of time together, but the bond is definately not weak! At least for myself i know it's true and genuine.. I can pour out my sorrows to noone so i can only blog it here, type it out hoping i will feel better. We both tried to end it but unfortunately failed ! 1 of the reason i gave my previous relationship up is because of this. I gave up too much, i cannot afford to lose my little squirrel !

06/12/2009 she told me she don't like me anymore. I felt so devastated! Then she continued by saying it has become love already my dear. It really touches my heart and ultimately stunned i felt ! Why of all people me? I couldn't explain. She can't make a choice. Me or her husband? People might say that i'm wrecking up people's family, but who knows it's also wrecking up my own life? Do you think i feel good? Can you feel what i'm feeling? Insomnia, moodless to work, even to eat.. Am i living on well?

When i know that she's sick and out with her husband early noon till late evening, i lost control ! Not very sensible to choose this path but what can i do? Randomly pick any girls and start another relationship? That's not what i want !!! I know what i want but i need to seriously know what she wants also ! What should i do.....? What more can i do.... ? I don't know anymore...

Revival of the Shadow !!!

MUAHAHahahahha IM BACK!!! *wink! After SOoOoOo Long sibo? Not that thing long Tiko BUs pls stop letting your mind wander :Pp Bo bian, found a new hobby recently then very lazy to blog le. But, 观众要求.. Tsktsk.. Nothing much to blog actually.. Been doing almost the same thing everyweek, BUT... surprisingly, i stopped clubbing for like almost ONE WHOLE MONTH! 难以相信!!! WooT, gathering at 700A.. You ppl will know where :) Mahjong, gatherings, Food, n Liquor.. Xmas and NYE were both spent at home with Bao n Friends.. Every year xmas and nye chiong oso sianx, so packed, so hot, so much problems.. So decided to have a change this year :) Aka 改邪归正 LMAO :P Not much stories to tell So yea.. check my Xmas pressie from my friends n Bao and some of the stuffs i bought :) Oh suddenly something pop up from my mind, YES!!! Ranting time.. My company HAHA 赶羚羊的草急派啊! Bonus 1 month, Comm untill now haven take.. WooT!! No CNY dinner at restaurant this year.. Really is SALTY until CHUT ZUP man! BWG!!! So yeah... Leaving is a wise choice.. But after the Bonus n Comm falls into IMMA HANDS!!!!! MUAHAhahahaha... Seriously VERY not satisfied with this PU BOR coy liao altho its a 因因请请 de job.. K lah.. enough Ranting.. See pic >>>> 请看>>>>>>>>>

This plays a VERY important role.. a gift from Didi n Angel :)

My 人身目标 since young.. HELI !!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it crashed n died off :(

A gift from 1770t13 :) so sweet of him!!

Gift from BAO.. Handmade de Box hor mai siao siao :)

This is my Xmas Pressie from BAO :) WeeeeeeT !!!

Guess who? heehee LMAO :X

Bad people :X

HUAT AH !! LOLx

HAmmie xiong n Me ^^

OK lah damn tired liao.. this entry took me SOOOOOOOOOOO many days leh.. Must appreciate ok *wink !! I'll update again when im more free n LESS tired peeps :) Luv ya all LOLx More n more Gu niang liao.. die.. ! HOT FLOWERS SISTAS HUAT AH !!! You know who you all are !

Ya CNY is coming.. May all my friends, relatives, buddies, sistas, bros, blablalba all stay healthy, wealthy, Happy and whatever THY you have.. Yeah.. ! LONG ZHONG HUAT AH !!

Sudden thoughts.....

Ya its me again.. After hearing what Zzzie said about his Xmas, i suddenly recalled mine.. Although its supposed to be something joyful, but before the joy was a damn terrible and horrifying experience. To think of it, it still terrifies me. It happened last october and ends on e Xmas eve night. Its too private to be blogged here, as i said i will not reveal all the things that happened.. Just a rough idea of my feelings will do.. I dunno and i dont care how miserable and how much sufferings you had in your life to said mine as a small thing, or im not e most unlucky person on earth. Bcuz im who i m.. If i cannot even managed my own things well, why do you think i will even be bothered about others? I really hope i can get outta the "SHADOW" of that incident and gradually lead a happy life with her ever after.. That is how my nick came by.. "SHADOW" By my godsister DION.. She says im living in my Shadow, y not just use it as my name.. And im using it till now. Is December really such a EMO month to live in? Im not too sure either, few friends of mine also feeling very down in this month. Hope i will have a wonder Xmas this year given all the blessing from my friends, family and BAO. And hope my family and all my friends, bro, sista, buddies, GF, will feel the same too, staying happy, blissful and healthy always.....

Love ~ ~ ~ Shadow

12/12/07

Ytd was a very Sad and Contradicting night for me. Something happened.. Im supressing my feelings so long until it exploded last night. I wont say in details what happened. But i hope this is really the last time. I will make my stand firm the next time you're like this again.. If i dont LOVE YOU and wanna BE with YOU do you think we can LAST till now? Just use abit of ur analysation and common sense. There is alot things i will not reveal in my blog. I got my own reasons. The only thing i can do is to keep to myself. Only individuals who knows me well enough MIGHT know what im going through.. I may laugh, smile, joke around, entertain you people BUT there will also be times when im down just like any other human beings...

OK LAH enough of e UNhappy part.. Chatted with VioVio and she make me laugh like hell, as blur as a sotong, guess she is really tired le.. Went off to bed. Taught her how to use Whosgoing.. Hope its not SOMETHING BAD bah.. Shes a fast learner by e way :) Nvm about those BAD THINGS inside... I will Protect her cuz she is UNDER ME! HOKKIEN BENG! And she is POTATO LIAN! The UNbeatables pair .. LMAO!! OoPpSs...

And let me do a posting on ANGEL meimei de birthday bah :)

Saturday 08/12/07

1st time she dug $$ outta her wallet to treat me eat. Sushi tei somemore.. Mai siao siao ohh.. :) But i dunno why have to RUN ALL THE WAY FROM TOWN TO SERANGOON to eat it.. Somemore there is no tables available have to wait for 20mins !! *ANGRY* After the meal i accompanied her to bugis to do her hair as well as meet my BAO at funan to take her lappie.. Queued for DAMN XX de long can.. Imagined we can go kopitiam buy a can of whatever drink, went downstairs to smoke, debate abit, smoke again then went up, XX de XXX still got 200 over ppl ahead of us? SIAO BO? Then BAO dunno use what mei ren ji (Beauty seduction) then jitao no need to follow the Queue, went to another Queue waited for 5mins and its OUR turn.. Took the lappie took a cab home and prepare to go St James for Angel meimei de birday :) 2 weeks ago de sat opened 6 bottles martell, last week open how many? 7 loh.. haa.. SIAO 1 !! Ok lah see pics mai loso le.. :)

HEY HLB dont bully me! Haa haa.. Like real :P

Leileiwin meimei and Angel meimei

My Tempura and Cha Soba

BIRDAY GER.. Wee U WeeT :)

With UNCLE AJ

With Motie :)

with Leileiwin

With RX8 :X oppsss

with Jordan

This 1 you dunno who I SLAP HO LI SI AR !

She says she likes this e most bcuz its VERY GONG! lols

AHEM!!!!!

Zzzie and Korkor

WHO?? SUPERSTAR ANDY LIN DOW DOW !

HOW DARE you try snip off my weapon !!!

She said take pics with chio Bu needa siam so far meh? Of cuz im YANXXX lei :P

LASTLY of cuz is my BAOBAO lah.. Nvr hear b4 SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST MEH?

Ok lah pang kang liao.. bye peeps :) Have a nice day ahead.. <3>